The somewhere in between Random FanFic of DOOM!
by RetroRebel85
Summary: Luigi crashes his car into things, with hilarious results, Bowser buys Lemmy a toy, Link takes Zelda to dinner and Mario tries to kill himself.    Now finished, and full of fail.
1. Chapter 1

Mario and Luigi presents… The Big Random FanFic of DOOM!

Mario: I'll take a pound of nuts.

Luigi: That's a lot of nuts!

Mario: …

Luigi: That'll be four coins baby! You want fries with that?!

Mario: AHHHH!

Scene 2

Wario: Run!

Waluigi: No!

Mario: Get into the chopper! Chopper! Chopper!

Scene 3

Mario: Ring ring ring ring Banana Phone!

Scene 4

Mario: My mama always said life is like a-Luigi: CHOPPER!

The Livin' End.


	2. Life Alarm!

The Big Random Fanfic of DOOM! Part 2!

Scene 1- Bowser's Lament

The hours approaching so do your best. You've got to reach your prime!

Show us the passage of time! That's called a montage! Montage! Ooo We need a montage!

Scene 2-Toad's so Ronery

Toad: I'm ronery so ronery so ronery and sadry arone. There's nowry just me onry!

Peach: RUN!!

Scene 3- Life Alarm

Toadsworth scrabbling around on the floor trying to get up.

Jigglypuff:

WTF NO Pokemon allowed!

Take 2- Action

Toadsworth scrabbling around on the floor trying to get up.

Toad: Have you fallen over and can't get up?

TW: Uh-Huh!

Toad: Then you need Life Alarm!

Daisy swallows a whole melon.

Toad: Biting off more than you can chew? Then you need Life Alarm

Luigi falls off Peach's castle

Toad: Thought you could fly? Then you need Life Alarm

To get your free Life Alarm today call 19-2000 IAM-DUMB. Operators are standing by.

This involved a lot of Team America especially Scenes 1&2

There's no I in Team America. Yes there is!


	3. Banana Phone!

The Big Random Fanfic of DOOM! 3 Now with added longness!

Scene 1

Peach: Help! My baby!

Mario hears this and runs towards Peach. He kicks the baby away and gets fallen on top of by Ganondorf.

Mario: Why don't –a you come down here and I'll teach-a you a lesson!

Bowser: Yeah, That's a good idea I'll come right down.

Bowser hands Mario a Poison Mushroom.

Mario: Uh! Ahh! Father can you hear me? AHHH!

Bowser: What was that?

Peach: A new hero's come to save us!

They look up and see Luigi aka Mr. L

Luigi tries to spin a web but falls off a building and rolls toward Bowser.

Bowser: Who are you?

Luigi: Have at you! I'm Mr. L- The Green Thunder!

Bowser and Koopalings: Okay bring it on!

Luigi sprays some green sticky stuff and ties up the Koopalings except for Ludwig who turns invisible.

He sprays Luigi with some bug spray.

Then, Wario walks forward in a Wolverine costume. With spoons for spikes. He sees a box of Lucky Charms and proceeds to attack it.

Scene 2

Mario takes centre stage along with Luigi, Bowser and Yoshi.

Drum sounds. Yoshi: Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling!

Luigi: Boop-a-doop-a-doop! Boop-a-doop-a-doop!

Mario & Bowser: Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring- Banana Phone! X2

Luigi: I've got this feeling, so appealing for us to get together and sing, SING!

Mario & Bowser: Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring- Banana Phone!

Luigi & Yoshi- Ding-Dong-Ding-Dong-Ding Donana Phone!

Mario: It grows in bunches! I've got my hunches! It's the best beats the rest Cellular Modular Interactiveodluar

Giga Bowser: RUN!!!!!!!

Sorry this was so short! I'll make up for it in Ch.4. Tootles!


	4. Jeopardy!

Big random FanFic of DOOM! Gerbil 4

Scene 1- Suicide

Mario sitting at a computer, random Toad walks in.

Mario: Oh, hey there!

Toad: I'll see ya in another life brotha! Toad pulls a gun out of his pocket and shoots himself.

Scene 2-This is SPARTA!

Luigi: This is blasphomey! This is madness!

Bowser: THIS-IS-SPARTA! Kicks Luigi in the you-know-whats!

Scene 3 I'm in the toilet!

A cellphone is heard ringing.Yoshi walks out of a toilet cubicle.

Yoshi: HELLO! Yeah! I'M In THE TOILET! YEAH I KNOW I'M FINISHED!

Scene 4-I can fly!

Mario puts on a Wing Cap.

Toad: You can't be serious!

Mario: I'm telling you I can fly! I'm doing it! I'm really doing it!

A doomship shoots him out of the sky.

Scene 5-Friends

Mario: Peach I lost the remote, do you know where it is? Laughter

Peach: I don't know try under the couch. Laughter

Mario: Yeah it's probly under there. Laughter

Scene 6-Toad Nye the science guy.

Toad opens his new Ferrari.

Toad: Now will be a good time!

Two cars on fire crash into it followed by a Forklift,Wheelbarrow,Rowing boat, six plastic tanks, a man in a wheelchair and Santa Claus.

Toad Nye the science guy! Toad Nye-The Science Guy. Toad! Toad! Toad! Toad! Toad Nye The Science Guy!

Daisy: Science Rules

Toad Nye The Science Guy!

Daisy: Inertia is a property of Mallors

Toad Toad Toad Toad Nye the Science Guy!

Toad Toad Toad Toad

Daisy: T-minus 7 seconds.

Toad Nye The Science Guy!

Scene 7-Indiana Mario

Theme plays. Mario peeks round a corner with a revolver in his hand. He jumps out a stairway. He sees the Artifact.

Mario takes it and puts Baby Luigi in its place. Luigi sinks through and is soon replaced by a sign that shouts"You're a loser!"

rumble is heard and Mario runs through the Temple. But instead of boulders giant pancakes and melons roll down! Mario finds the exit but is murdered by a melon which had managed to find his gun.

Scene 8-Jeopardy

And welcome back to Jeopardy! Let's see the categories. Things that rhyme with "Antidestablishmentism""Circle Square or Rabid Dog?""Places that don't have nuclear weapons""Asdlkrendsmfl" "The answer is in the question"" And lastly,D.K you won't understand these!" D.K, since you're trailing by minus $750 billion, You get to make the selection!

D.K: Nuclear before 1993

I'm sorry that's not a option.And it's not even how you pronounce Nuclear!

D.K: What is George.W?

D.K I didn't even say the answer to the question!

Yoshi since you hav'nt even moved yet you make the choice.

Yoshi: I'll take answer in the question for 400, please!

I am a Dog! D.K?

D.K: What is a drug in our system?

No, I'm sorry thats incorrect.Anyone else? D.K I'm sorry, you can only ring in once! AHH! The answer is Dog! I am a Dog!

Yoshi make another selection.

Yoshi: Circle,Square or Rabid Dog for 800.

An object in a circular pattern. Yes, D.K?

D.K: What is a U.A.V launched from a vessel off the American Coast?

D.K thats not the answer...It's not even close! Anyone else? Time for Final Jeopardy!

The answer is your favourite colour. 30 seconds people. D.K raises his hand. No asking D.K! Lets see...

Yoshi has written nothing as usal. Banana has drawn a pretty picture.And D.K said "What is Pie?" None of you are correct!

Yoshi and Banana$0 D.K bids "a Wii" Banana wins!


	5. Hamburger Hop!

_**The Random FanFic of DOOM! Episode 5**_

_**Scene 1- Slammer**_

Mario walks down the street and sees some Dry Bones.

They start dancing to Billy Jean by Micheal Jackson. Luigi is mugged by a zombie. Wario dresses up as Spiderman.

Mario and Peach kick Dry Bones all over the show. Waluigi chops his own arm off.

**Scene 2- Hey!**

Bowser sees a random Toad.

Bowser: Hey, I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself ohhh. Bowser's head stretches to the sky.

No,No,No!

**Scene 3-Don't tell me what I can't do!**

Mario is drinking bleach.

Luigi: Hey! Don't drink bleach!

Sad music plays

Mario: I'm supposed to do this dammit! Don't tell me what I can't do!

**Scene 4- The violent movie.**

**Luigi: Hey, what'cha watchin?**

Mario: It's a violent movie! Joker chicks and some of me! The kind of s$t you get on the TV!

**Scene 5-Holy £$**

Mario sees two giant Yoshi's.

Mario: Oh my ing god, It's a dinosaur Jesus Christ, what the ? Oh my ing god, ing dinosaurs,Holy what the ?

**Scene 6- The Hamburger Hop**

Mario: Now if you want something thats good and hot, Just eat a hamburger it'll hit the spot.You can see em on the grill going flippity flop if you wanna do the burger do the Hamburger Hop! There open up 24 hours a day. Put an onion in the iddle and a pickle on top. Everyones goin to the hamburger stand put em on the grill do the Hamburger Hop!


	6. Toadee Herman

**The Big Random FanFic of DOOM! Episdoe VI Return of teh hackzors**

**Scene 1: Get that feeling?**

Birdo and Yoshi are sitting on a rowing boat.

Yoshi: Ya' ever get that feeling you're being watched?

Mario swims nakedly by them.And again. And Again.

Birdo: Ah! It's coming for us!!!

Mario dives at them and eats Birdo.

**Scene 2: HeadON**

Luigi is sitting rubbing HeadON on his forehead.

Random Hobo: HeadON apply directly to the forehead! Hyuck!

Luigi hugs the hobo.

**Scene 3: Snakes on a Train**

Toad runs screaming into a train compartment.

Toad: Listen, we have to build a barrier between us and the snakes!

Wario eats a snake and explodes.

Toad is covered in snakes.

Toad: Do as I say, and you live.

**Scene 4: Dodge This!**

Mario and Luigiare fighting.

Mario is winning.

Luigi: Daisy! Help!

Luigi is knocked over by a Nerf Ball.

Mario: All too easy.

Daisy: Dodge this.

She pulls a shotgun out of nowhere and blasts him away.

**Scene 5: Toadee Herman**

Yoshi: I'm sorry Toadee, I have to let you go. You parked your car over the princess.

Toadee: I meant to do that.

Yoshi: You're fired.

Toadee is sobbing in the car park. A rage comes over him.

Toadee: WHEEEE!

Yoshi: Toadee?

Toadee: That's ma name don't wear it out!

A telephone rings.

Yoshi: For the last time Toadee I can't hear you!

Toadee turns round and screams to the wall.

Toadee:I'M TRYING TO USE THE PHONE!

_AN: So this is the end. Don't worry I'm still making stories and I've abandoned Requim For Madness. Thanks, RetroRebel 85_

**Mario: Thank you so much-a for to reading this story!#**

**Luigi: Don't you contradict me!**

**Mario: Contra? I love that game!**


	7. The Very Bad Man!

**The Big Random FanFic of DOOM! part 7**

**1. Rescuing the Princess**

Luigi hurried home and unpacked his X-Box 360, stuck GTA4 in and cried with laughter.

Luigi: Now THIS is a video-game! Rescuing the Princess is for PUSSIES!

**2. Bowser's Plan**

Bowser: Here's the plan. We get the warhead and hold the Mushroom Kingdom ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Mario: 00 Yay!

**3. Disruption**

Toadsworth: Our communications have been disrupted. This can only mean one thing. Inva-

Mario: Shut the fuck up fat-man this ain't none o' your goddamn business!

**4. The staring contest**

Mario and Luigi appear to be staring at each other. The music gets intense and then- Daisy slaps the two of them for staring at her chest!

**5. The Bad Man**

Peach and Mario are talking to each other.

Peach: Wicked, bad, naughty evil Bowser is a bad person and must pay the penalty! Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it! But now, we're glad! Better than some of the other scenes I think...

Toad: At least mine was committed and not a string of pussy jokes!

Bowser: Get on with it!

The Mushroom Kingdom: YES, GET ON WITH IT!

Peach: Oh, I am enjoying this scene!

God: GET ON WITH IT!


	8. Peach Kissed A Girl!

**The Big Random FanFic of DOOM!**

**1. Peach and Toadsworth**

Peach and Toadsworth are having an argument.

5 Mins Previously...

Peach: I kissed a girl and I liked it!

Toadsworth: WHAT?!

**2. Bowser's Important Message**

The entire Mushroom Kingdom is huddled around their computers.

Bowser: Citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom, I give you... NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! Never...

Then, the world explodes!

**3. Toad has a question**

Toad: Docta Mario, a question if I may?

DMario: Sure!

Toad: Is it gay, to play Putt Putt Golf with a friend?

Toad is then blown into space, whilst shouting, "LEEROY JENKINS!"

**4. Mario's theme song**

Luigi has beat back the evil Rick Roll and saved the world, so the MK are giving him a celebration!

Luigi is really great, really great,

Luigi is really great, and deserves the opposite of hate, Which is LOVE!

**5. Will You SHUT UP?!**

Bowser: Now, Princess, I'm going to turn you into a purse!

Peach: SHUT UP AND LET ME GO! HUH!

**6. What is Love?**

Mario, Luigi and Wario are in a car, driving away from a nuke in Peach's Castle.

ALL: What is lo-oove? Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!

**7. Barrel Rolled**

Waluigi is learning to fly an Arwing.

Peppy: Now, an important message from Slippy!

Slippy: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA...

Waluigi and Peppy: Oo


	9. Gay Luigi!

**The Big Random FanFic of DOOOOM!**

**Scene 1: Caramell Dansen!**

Luigi looked left and right. *Sigh* "Nobody likes Weegee." he said. So, he got naked and did the CARAMELLDANSE!

**Scene 2: Where ya goin, Smithy?**

"Hey Smithy! Where ya goin' with that gun in your hand?" asked Bowser.

"Hey Smithy! Where ya goin' with that gun in your hand?" asked Booster.

"Gonna shoot Princess Peach!" he cried with glee.

**Scene 3: Gay Luigi?**

"Nice of the princess to invite us for a picnic, eh Luigi?" asked Mario.

"I hope she made lots-a spaghetti!" he replied.

"Luigi, look!" cried Mario, pointing to the door of the castle.

"It's from Sonic! Dear Pesky Plumbers: Shadow and I have taken over MAH BOI."

"NOT INTO THE PIT! IT BUURNS!" cried Luigi.

**Scene 4: You Are a Pirate!**

The l33t hamm3r broz and Bowser are on board a ship.

"Do what you want, cuz a pirate is free! You are a pirate!" they sang.

**Scene 5: How Could This Happen To Me?**

Mario stared at the castle, in ruins, with corpses strewn across the grounds.

"How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fadin' away, I seek out this life, I just wanna screa-" he cried, when a doomship blew him away.


	10. Dinner!

**The somewhere in between Random FanFic of DOOOM! **

**Scene 1: Suicidal Tendancies**

Mario stood at the edge, looking down at the city below. Luigi was driving towards him at high speed, about to crash when- BOOM.

Luigi flew off the building, hitting the pavement, squashing a Toad.

"Uh... what just happened?" thought Mario out loud. Bowser walked out into the sun.

"Don't worry, I got him! It's me, Bowser!" said Bowser.

"Uhh... thanks, I guess." said Mario.

"No problem, you can go kill yourself now!" smiled Bowser.

"Okay, bye bye- WOAHHHHHHHHHH!" Mario screamed as he flew towards Luigi, who was just getting up from the wreck.

"Oh, I'm okay!" he cheered. He then noticed Mario's flailing arms. "Oh Holy SHI-" he screamed as Mario hit him.

"Heh. What a lovely young man he'll turn out to be!" said Bowser.

**Scene 2: It must be French**

"Hey, Lemmy!" shouted Bowser.

"Yes, King Dad?" he called back.

"Come see this new toy I bought you!" Bowser replied. "They said, it's called a Flamm-a-ble, must be French." he said, pointing at the propane canister in front of him. "Sit on it and give it a try!" he encouraged.

Luigi was in his car, driving at high speeds when Lemmy rolled out in front of him.

"LEMMY, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Oh God, I'm runnin' out of breath, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bowser screamed. Luigi hit him, and blew the whole castle up. "Stupid Frenchies!" shouted Lemmy.

**Scene 3: Tender Moments go BOOM!**

Oh screw it, it isn't funny.

**Scene 4: Dinner**

"Isn't this nice, Princess?" asked Link. Zelda and him had been on edge for a few months, and Link was determined to put it right. Then, Luigi was driving his car at high speeds towards the large tower in front of Mario's house. "Oh, God! Not again!" cried Luigi as he hit the turbo by accident. He crashed into the support structures, and knocked Zelda out of her chair.

"ZELDA, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Link as Zelda fell to the ground.


End file.
